IEP tips: Come prepared with your own plan

Special Needs or Retarded?

 Its Sunday morning, and already I'm in trouble. I flew off the handle about a comment on Facebook regarding a child displaying bad behavior and the caption read ADHD - Ain't no Discipline (or Daddy) at Home Disorder!

Instantly I was upset on many different levels.

1. Is this idiot for real? 
2. Is this what my child is going to have to deal with in the future?
3. Are people really this closed minded regarding special needs children?
4. Did they mean to be this ignorant, or is this how they REALLY feel?

I had to take a good look at myself and how I see the world. I hate labels on all fronts because I believe people in general are more than what their label suggests, but as a Mom of a child that has been diagnosed with both Autism and ADHD, I am just not sure how others outside of our immediate circle will see him. In our small circle and because we HAD to be EDUCATED, we regard William as Special Needs or his actual diagnosis when describing him, but what do others say in context of my son and others like him. 

The sad fact is, most people either in front of my face or behind my back are going to call my son RETARDED.  Schools are going to think of him that way. Educated and Non-educated folks are going to think of him that way. Society is going to think of him that way. I do all that I can to educate others by blogging and being as active in the community as I can, but no amount of education is ever going to reach people enough to stop using that word or even believe that his diagnosis is REAL (yes there are really people that believe I make this SHIT UP!) 

Here's a list of the wonderful things people have to say about my son's diagnosis:

• His issues are made up
• Your imagining things
• He's not bad. Are you sure somethings wrong with him? (after 6 years of continuous therapy)
• That diagnosis (ADHD) is made up so drug companies can make money 

I know at the end of the day, people are going to believe what they want to believe and no amount of education or examples of children will change their mind. So they live in this world of conspiracy theories and ignorance and just politely say oh my bad, I didn't know YOUR child was RETARDED. Sorry. 

Because I cannot control the perception of the world, I KNOW that most people will regard my son as either a WEIRDO or RETARDED and it breaks my heart that I will never be able to do anything about it. In my community (which happens to be African-American) I know that this will occur more frequently than in other communities and for that, I must swallow my pride, walk tall and continue to educate and advocate for my son the best way I know how.  However, I know that these labels will still affect me and my family FOREVER, and that is never going to sit right with me, no matter what.

So in conclusion, I still don't know what to do. Either accept the label and excuse their ignorance, or stick my chest out and give a holy hell educated rant on the labels I use. Labels are labels, but words really can hurt and teaching people to think before speaking would NEVER work. 

How do you handle these situations with your special situation?

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A good defense is the best offense...especially for ignorant onlookers

Today, I allowed myself to get angry! Most parents of special needs child try to calm their children down in a polite and quiet way without causing extra eyes to gaze upon them and make them feel more uncomfortable. Today, was not one of those days. As I scrolled through my facebook feed, I paused to see this pictured posted by one of my so called "friends" (I use this term loosely since I will be deleting them shortly.) I was almost shocked to see that someone who knew me and my son's situation would even have the audacity to A. post this nonsense and B. proudly agree and say that they "have been saying this for years." As a parent of a child that is both Autistic and ADHD I took offense and proceeded to tell this person off, but thought better about it knowing that I not only represent myself, but my son, my family, and my special needs community. If this is the message that other people have, what do you say to those that stare at you when you are dealing with a public meltdown, or those that have these types of things to say regarding children with special needs. I'd like to think that people are open minded to learning instead of spouting ignorance and foretelling their stupidity to the rest of the world, but I know in my mind that that is not the case. I almost feel sorry for the people that say that this is a "made up" diagnosis or (my favorite) "why are they just now diagnosis this, back in the day you never heard of this. those kids were just labeled as bad". Well, all I can say is times change and things change. We don't talk about things like polio because we've all but wiped out that threat, but back in the day, that used to be common. Now there are other disabilities to discuss and people can't just roll with the times. They have to find some way to undercut medicine or the special needs community in order to feel better about themselves, and that my friend is the definition of SAD! Sorry Ass Deadbeats who walk around feeling better about themselves by putting others with disabilities down. Well I'm not hiding my family from the public. I'm also not apologizing for having to deal with a mini meltdown or two. As a parent, its my job to teach my children (special needs or not) how to conduct themselves in public and if a teachable moment happens to be in the middle of an eruption, then so BE IT! Society and idiots that choose to live in a time warp bubble will just have to roll with the punches, or grow to be old and HOPE that these children that they are putting down today grow up to be law abiding, wage earning, citizens taking care of the older generation that spit upon them when they were growing up.
I'm here to tell you that you have no excuse. Get the right message instead of purporting the wrong message. As a parent of a special needs child, I am not afraid to conduct teachable moments to random adults either!

Separate but Equal? Philadelphia Charter Schools vs. Philadelphia Public Schools

As I sit here on a Tuesday afternoon, I am compelled to write about the injustice facing Philadelphia parents today and I'm eerily reminded of Plessy vs. Ferguson, the separate but equal case that governed our educational system for almost 70 years. Looking back at this policy, it is strangely quite similar to the setup we have in Philadelphia regarding business or private run schools (charter) vs public Philadelphia schools. As a parent of a special needs child, I am almost shocked that no one has thought to put these two ideas together, but I'll take a stab at it!
Separate but equal was deemed unconstitutional through Brown vs The Board of Education, but it seems that there is a new separate but equal that seems to slowly but surely creep up in this modern age.

Charter schools are a separate form of education that is deemed for everyone, but they are all run differently based on the business or private entity that run them. They have flexibility regarding who they hire and how they deliver curriculum to their students. They seem to be run on a totally different plan than district run public schools. Public schools have a set standard in hiring and delivering of the education to students. Teachers hired have to be certified (not always so in charter schools) and they have to follow carefully constructed criteria (IEPs, etc.) in order to comply and be able to obtain funding. Why are we treating these two streams of education so differently? They are both publicly funded school options for all Philadelphia residents. One appears to be better than the other. In my opinion, it appears that charter schools weren't asking for extra money or extra personnel to keep their children safe, but the public schools were. Why are repeating the same mistakes over and over again with regard to education. I thought the entire message of having charter schools was better access to education and to see if we could model all public education to work for all students. Not to separate them, but for them to work together bettering the education for all students receiving a public education which includes charter school students.
I almost feel like there is a set plan to blatantly shift or pull the wool over our eyes so that we do not see the injustice that is going on her today. As it stands, there is separate but UNEQUAL treatment going on in public education of the Philadelphia School system and NOONE, not even our Mayor is doing anything about it! It is deemed unconstitutional for a reason, and as parents we need immediate help to solve this situation. The discrimination has taken a left and shot right to hell regarding the education of our children here and unless we go further than the state (Governor is not interested in helping us) we will get nowhere. What are your thoughts regarding this modern day injustice?

Raising an Autistic Trayvon Martin

As I observe the trial from my safe little desk and internet connection, I am drawn to 2 things swimming inside my head. A. Is this what every black teenager/man has to go through at one time or another (profiling) and B. What should I instill in my child so that he won't be a victim like this. The hard reality of the situation is, my boy has it worse due to his disability. My son is a sweet, loving and affectionate child, but at the same time, his social skills are lacking which could make him easy prey for a police officer or another person to tag him as a threat. Instinctively, my boy uses fleeting or little to no eye contact. When people look suspicious, it is usually because they are not looking you directly in the eye. We and police officers use this body language measurement to identify who they think may have done some harm. The problem is, my boy already has 2 strikes against him. 1. He's black and 2. He's got a disability that inhibits his social skills. He has to work twice as hard to carry on a conversation without people thinking there is some different about him. How should I arm him against racial profiling? How are we supposed teach our children that our neighborhoods are safe, its just the neighbors you gotta look out for. This trial brings tears to my eyes know that my child could be a victim of senseless violence due to an idiots use of force thrown against him. There is training that can be done for police officers, but what about the average joe with a gun permit and the means to buy whatever weapon they wish. What should I arm my child with? Education isn't going to help since we took that out of the equation for a gun permit. Its hilarious that the car insurance companies give you a better rate for being educated, but any yahoo with NO EDUCATION, just proof of age, can go and get a gun.
Are we so blinded by the media that we can't even see the rifle pointing at us and the safety off? We are committing a crime everyday called Involuntary Manslaughter. Its when you put your children in harms way ON PURPOSE, cause we are not fighting enough to do something about it! Raise your voice and save our children!

Philadelphia's Education System... Should be called The Have's and The Have Nots....

We are obviously going backwards to before the depression and public education. Its looking more and more like if you  have the money, live in the right place, or just lucky enough to get chosen in a charter school lottery, you have won the jack pot. For all others, get ready for your child to be in MINI PRISON, cause that's really what they should call these remaining schools. Let's look at what they don't have to further prove that these schools are probably WORSE than the state of the art prison the Governor is making ( and probably anticipating every kid in there ending up there)

1. No Gym program - hell even jail has a yard with weights in it - I guess that would be a step up for the children attending these left over schools
2. No Art program - Wonderful, they have no outlet for creativity. I'm almost positive the new jail would have computers for the inmates....
3. No music program - some of these jails have music studios in them. Wow Jail is looking better and better by the minute
4. No extracurricular activities - but I bet there are things to do in jail...
5. NOT ENOUGH STAFF - I'm 100% positive that jail will be fully staffed and probably much safer than any of these leftover schools with the skeleton crew of people they are leaving in charge of these over crowded class rooms full of the students who couldn't go anywhere else.

It appears that all these children need to just wait until they are old enough or commit a crime that will land them in a cushier place then their public education institution. Its really sad when you compare school to jail and jail comes out on top. 

It also appears that the powers that be have made an obvious attempt to put the total responsibility of education on the parents.. and not just any parents. Parents who have the drive to get their children into a charter school or parents who have the money to put their children in private schools or can afford to live in a great area with an exclusive and good public school based on their property. 

In the never ending saga that is education funding, it appears that Philadelphia is really taking this to a new low. So now they are going to fire almost 4,000 people in addition to closing 23 schools. So in theory, what are we parents to do! Here's my take on the state of the system.

It appears that Philadelphia School District is privatizing more schools than willing to run schools and still getting paid the same amount (or more) of money. That Ain't Right! How are you opening up more opportunities for private and parochial schools (EITC program) and giving more to charter schools (run by private entities) but closing and downsizing the schools you actually run and on top of this, you want to increase property tax and try to milk more money out of taxpayers. Hmmmm doesn't seem like you people in charge should be getting paid the same amount of money for managing less people and less schools under your belt. Why are you still getting the same (or more) pay? Why do you feel entitled to not cut your high paying jobs. So much crap has been spewed regarding sacrificing, but the new superintendent (who's been in power for less than 8 months) is still getting paid a hefty amount, I'm sure. In the midst of all this, we Philadelphians, are still paying Ackermans going away package and paying the new Superintendent's salary and I'm sure they want all their money, cause heaven forbid that the people making the most money get cut and not the people making less (such as the almost 4,000 people getting a pink slip). 

What I still can't understand is how are they cramming these kids in these remaining schools without having vice principals, aids, special education supports, and the host of teachers they intend to layoff. Now who is in charge of making these stupid decisions? Aww, yes! A board of unelected people that we cannot get rid of or criticize in any way. On top of this, PA Governor Tom Corbett is blatantly uninterested in education and more interested in making money with this prison scheme that noone politically wants to talk about when confronted with it by reporters. Why are we not dragging this guy through an impeachment process? Why are we not protested his removal from office when he is clearly a part of the problem and not the solution? We are dragging Mayor Nutter through the ground, but the person that controls the purse strings doesn't seem to be feeling the "bad approval rating" effects that the Mayor has been subjected to. There are so many people against educating people who do not have the means to take it, its almost sickening. 

Everyone else (or mainly everyone else's kids) will not get the opportunity to even try to get out of poverty through education. 

You know those stories of folks who got out of a bad situation due to school or opportunities at school.. those stories will die down and those people with the potential to do greater will never seen the light of day. They will go from Overcrowded drop out schools right to New Jail AND by the time they get there, they might actually be Happy about being there cause it will be 10 times better than the school they were attending for 12 - 15 years of their life.