Is it me? Am I Wrong?

I feel like everytime I get ready to go to one of these Dr's appoitments that I am gearing up for a prize fight. Does anyone else feel this way too. It's like I have to be on my toes, come with a book of research methods and ask the best and most specific questions in order to get what my son needs as far as treatment. It's like noone wants to come out and say "This is what he needs"; Everything is just in general. Like other Moms of ASD kid know - each child is different and needs a different treatment plan.
So why can't Docs be specific about our kids needs? Do we have to visit them more, do they need to run more tests, or is it because they really don't know and since we know our kids, we should figure out(by trial and error) what supposed to work and what doesn't. Does anyone else think this is horrifying? I haven't gone to college for 10+ years to be a Dr. What the hell do I know. All I know is that I am basically in the dark about big medical words and I am just like a kid in a candy store with all these types of treatments. He responds to this, he didn't like that, this seems to extreme, this doesn't seem extreme enough... this is like torture!! Is it me or is "recommendations" just not good enough. Is it my Docs, cause I have to be honest here.. I thought I was getting some of the best treatment I could find, but I guess that all depends on your wallet these days.
I cannot afford to be a Work at Home mom, atleast not yet. I am trying to be, but finding trustworthy Work at home jobs is an entirely different monster that I just don't have time for. Has anyone else had to cope with these huge issues?